What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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a

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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