- Anti Joke

What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

Anti Joke

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