What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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