Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops