What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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