Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Why don't black people ever defend themselves on anti jokes? Because black people are slaves.

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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