A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Justin Bieber

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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