A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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