How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Knock Knock.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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