why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

Chris is hairy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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