An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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a ginger named corey walks into a bad and gets pistol whipped after raping his classmate

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Whay lawrence pearson ir r8 gay

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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