A dancer walks into a barre

thumb_up thumb_down +20

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

thumb_up thumb_down +14

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops