What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

civil rights

Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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