A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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h

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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