Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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