if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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