Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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how much fish could a chicken

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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