What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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