Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

Women's Rights

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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