why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...