Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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