My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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