what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

pobody's nerfect

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

9/11 my birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -3

i'm hard

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops