How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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