What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a dyslexic man walked his god.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down +12

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops