How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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like if your cool

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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dallen loves penis

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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