Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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