What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

What's better than a stick? A stone

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

What do you call a black man in church? Religious

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

i dont fisish anythi

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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