If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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Want to here a joke? Me to...

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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