What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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like if your cool

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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69.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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