Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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