What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Weaner

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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