What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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