What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Weaner

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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