A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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