So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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