Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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