How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

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A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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What'd the mexican get for his birthday, birthday cards from his friends and family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops