What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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