Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...