Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

thumb_up thumb_down +15

meatspin.fr

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

thumb_up thumb_down +9

69.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops