What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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