How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Brain fart

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops