An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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