What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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69

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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