My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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