Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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