A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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