Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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roses are red poo is poo

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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