why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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