your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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Matt is a Duster!

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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Rylan Clark

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops