A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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I'm homeless.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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