What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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