How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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A black man walks out of a police station

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops