Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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