A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Your big dick.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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