what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

Whats green? Mountain Dew.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

woman's rights

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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