How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? because it got shot before it could get there.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops