I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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