What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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