Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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