Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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