How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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