Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

a man was shot.... he died

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

american idol

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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