What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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A car with three black people in it is driven off a cliff and everyone dies. Why is this a tragedy? Because it is always a tragedy when human life is lost.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops