Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

Tilt your screen back

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

What's better than a stick? A stone

I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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