Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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