my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Andoni was here

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

69.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops