why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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Gustavo Andrade

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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Jesus Christ

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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