Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops