Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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How you know when dislextic

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops