Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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Have you heard about the angry chef? He beat his children

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops