How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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What do you call a white person? Caucasian

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops