Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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