roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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