What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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