What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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