Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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