Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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