Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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What did the dubstep say? Wub.

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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Women's rights

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? Women's sports

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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