Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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I am a mime

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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