When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

Feminism

What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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