Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

thumb_up thumb_down -37

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops