What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...