Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why does the man appear fat he is

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

thumb_up thumb_down

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops