If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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