what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Cripples are lame.

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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