Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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