Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

My Nan, that is all.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

your mom.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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