How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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where's mom I killed her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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