why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Andoni was here

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops