A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

How did Bella fly? Very badly.

Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

So this guy was making a sandwich...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...