What's better than a stick? A stone

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Cripples are lame.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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