Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops