I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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