What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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