Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

i dont fisish anythi

Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

How old is victor? Half past dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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