What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL Wasted your time didn't I -All the lol post are by me, LOL GUY.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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