why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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