A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What rhymes with milk...milf

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +7

antijoke is the best website.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops