Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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