Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops